I remember reading a Jane Austen novel, I can’ t remember which one, and she used the term ‘incadenscently happy’. And I remember thinking that though there were special, emotional, and very happy moments in my life – my wedding, family dinners, adventures with the husband, my pets, etc, that I would never describe a period in my life as so vividly and intensely happy to use those words. And now I would.
Violet came home on Thursday. I literally thought we were going to have to break out of the hospital. I think we left at 11am on Thursday, but it felt like an eternity. More on the birth and all that mumbo jumbo later. Right now I just want to revel in the new discoveries of my perfect baby and how glorious it feels to have her home. I asked my husband yesterday if you feel this way every time you have a baby. You know? Each time is this overwhelming feeling that this baby is the perfect baby. It almost scares me away from having other children, I am afraid that all the love would make me burst or overwhelm my emotional sensors causing me to shut down.
I have only known her for a few days. She likes to suck her fingers, her hands, the blanket, anything. She prefers to sleep slightly crumpled. She hates having her feet swaddled. She makes the most adorable faces when she passes gas. Oh, and she grunts. She smells like a dream.
My husband is a lost cause.. he thinks she hung the moon. My favorite part of the whole birth experience was waking up a few hours after delivering and seeing him in the corner holding her and gazing at her.
I am spending my days recovering, enjoying my lovely daughter, being a mom, and marveling in my new incandescently happy life.
