Violet thinks she is supposed to start teething. I’m hoping her dad’s focus on milestones has not turned her into an over achiever at, almost three months. I thought there was more time before I had to endure the infamous crying, drooling, where-did-my-sweet baby go experience? I’m tempted to shove her into a glass fishbowl like one of those heinous bonsai kittens, to prevent from growing. What?
The sheer misery of being unable to comfort my baby has prevented me from doing anything but hold her since last Thursday. I woke up Saturday morning to a subtle, but unpleasant aroma, and was disgusted to find it was my ARMPITS. Deodorant? I can’t remember using it in awhile. But, I can’t remember brushing my teeth, or washing my face and I MUST HAVE done those. At least I think….
My healthy eating/working out few weeks went down the tube. I’ve been shoving stale corn chips into my mouth when ever I get the opportunity, and when I do get the chance to put down the baby I use it to relieve my seriously overfilled bladder. Not to prepare food. Gosh. Priorities people.
This morning I finally managed to wash my hair and rushed off to my meeting only ten minutes late, which is good for me lately, and then guiltily went to lunch with my coworkers afterwards. And yes, I remembered deodorant.
Friday I called and made an appointment for a therapist. Yes. A. Therapist. This anxiety is at an abnormal level, and I am frustrated to the point that I don’t care if it is embarrassing. I admit it – I need a professional. Oh, internet if only you had studied the DSM and could prescribe medication. The earliest I could get in was August 12th, and I had to call at least twenty offices to get an appointment in August, and I have to drive to Phoenix. I hate Phoenix. Phoenix to me is a soul less woman whose fingernails are too long, and who wears cheap perfume. I can only imagine for people who are in SERIOUS trouble, how frustrating it must be calling place after place, wrong numbers provided by overloaded insurance companies, and going through question after question only to be told to suffer for another month or two until they can get you into a slot.
Oh, and I bought my ticket to Guatemala. And took out a supplemental life insurance policy. Just in case.
You know, it might NOT be teething! Lots of things can make a baby fussy. Did she have vaccines within the last couple weeks? Sometimes the symptoms don’t show up for a week or two. My babe got horribly cranky and awful two weeks after a vaccine and it was my chiropractor that figured it out for me. So don’t fret!
And as for workouts, my babe was around six or nine months when I finally was able to take control of my life again. I know it feels like you’re in a tailspin, but eventually you’ll pull out of it. Glad you’re doing therapy. To be honest, I had been thinking about that too.
To change the subject, I think you’re writing is stunning! You are totally going on my favorites list!
I’m so sorry about the cranky baby; teething definitely sucks for all involved. We’re dealing with stubborn molars right now and I’ve been on the edge of a break-down all day!
By the way, Jennifer’s comment is dead-on: your writing is beautiful. I loved the simile for Phoenix!
I have been there… actually, I’m still there! With a three year old and an 11 month old… and I don’t think I remembered deodorant today either!! Oh well, it’s just a little funk, right? My thoughts with you fellow mommy!