I can’t believe I am actually doing this and for the millionth time WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING. Guess, that just shows the true ways having a baby changes you. In a million years, I never dreamed spending a week in La Antigua, Guatemala would be so hard. I am confident my sister and husband will take fantastic care of my baby, it just feels so, odd to leave her behind. And as much as I would love to see what is supposed to be a beautiful, warm, and magical part of the world – everything I want is right at home.
I hate to fly, and whenever I get on a plane my mind drifts to all the things I love most in my world at home. My husband and daughter, and walking into to find them sound asleep together in our bed, their chests rising and falling in semi-unision. Violet’s tiny hand wrapped tightly around her Daddy’s finger, his chest bare and scraggly with dark curly hairs that over the past few years have creeped closer to his neckline. My fluffy irritated cat trying to get comfortable at the foot of the bed, arranging, and rearranging, and arranging again. Oh, cats. My sweet Remington heaving a large Weimeraner sigh from the corner. My world all in a magical bubble. All I need, right there at home.
And, yet, I will leave tonight, make the two hour drive to the airport, spend four hours at Phoenix SkyHarbor and jet off to Guatemala City via Houston for what is to be my last adventure. I’m resolved. Parenthood will be my adventure from now on. Being a real wife will be my challenge. It is scary enough, and exciting enough, and feels me with pride and fear and love and a sense of conquer. Everyday. Until then keep me wrapped in your prayers, so that I can get home.
Talk to you all soon.
It will be fantastic and you will always be thankful you took the time to do it!
And I promise, you ARE a real wife!
So happy you did this for yourself. Just look forward to that wonderfully giddy feeling that you will get when your plane lands back home and you get to see your husband and daughter again. It will be a wonderful feeling!!!